My Other Dad
This one's been percolating in my brain since Tuesday.
If you've been following this blog, you know it's title comes from my Dad, who died last summer, and the garage we built just a couple of years ago which he left to me.
I haven't mentioned my other Dad, but I think I should, mainly because he deserves it, and also to avoid confusion in the future.
My StepDad married Mom when I was eleven - if there's a worse time to become an authority figure in a boy's life, I'm not sure what it is. StepDad and I butted heads pretty regularly for the next seven years, not because he was a bad parent - far from it! - but because I was a typical teenager, headstrong, who always KNEW I was right. Just ask me! And Mom and StepDad were good Parents - I didn't get away with that shit. Which would be one of the leading reasons I've never spent a night in jail, much less any time in prison, or worse. In other words, while I ain't perfect, I at least got a good start on life, due in no small part to how Mom and StepDad raised me. The same can be said for our "Brady Bunch" family - a son and a daughter from each of them when they got married, and then one, my youngest brother, they had together - and none of us has spent any time in prison, or even a night in jail that I know of, and we're all successful in our chosen lives.
Anyway, in the interest of clarity, I will in the future continue to refer to the Dad I share DNA with as "Dad", and the Dad who put up with my dumb teenage ass for seven years, and still managed to do a good job being a positive father figure (and not killing me) as StepDad.
I hope I've explained that well enough, but just in case:
StepDad is in no way meant to be derogatory, or a "lesser" name than Dad. Although we didn't get along well for many years, that was due to my being a teenage asshole. After I grew up, and grew a little bit of good sense, we have gotten along well as two men who respect each other.
There's also the little thing about StepDad being married to my Mom for nearly 25 years now (damn, that makes me feel old!) and making her, in her words, very happy. Even if I didn't love or even like Stepdad (which, now that I'm grown up I do, and have for a good 15 years now), that's something that would have my respect and gratitude.
If I get an ok, I'll start using StepDad's given name. If he wants me to.
Otherwise, I'll keep using Dad and StepDad, just so you readers will be clear who I'm talking about. Don't any of you dare think, though, that the STEP part is in any way a derogative.
BTW... the reason I started thinking about this on Tuesday, is because it was StepDad who called first to tell me I was a new Uncle. Mom is with Lil'sis, StepDad will be joining her in the next few days (if he hasn't already - I wasn't clear on the travel dates).
Anyway... thanks Mom, thanks Dad, thanks StepDad... you all did a damn fine job raising kids. My f*ckups are entirely my own; no shrinks will get any money out of me trying to figure out that my parents, all three of you, are to blame for my problems.
If you've been following this blog, you know it's title comes from my Dad, who died last summer, and the garage we built just a couple of years ago which he left to me.
I haven't mentioned my other Dad, but I think I should, mainly because he deserves it, and also to avoid confusion in the future.
My StepDad married Mom when I was eleven - if there's a worse time to become an authority figure in a boy's life, I'm not sure what it is. StepDad and I butted heads pretty regularly for the next seven years, not because he was a bad parent - far from it! - but because I was a typical teenager, headstrong, who always KNEW I was right. Just ask me! And Mom and StepDad were good Parents - I didn't get away with that shit. Which would be one of the leading reasons I've never spent a night in jail, much less any time in prison, or worse. In other words, while I ain't perfect, I at least got a good start on life, due in no small part to how Mom and StepDad raised me. The same can be said for our "Brady Bunch" family - a son and a daughter from each of them when they got married, and then one, my youngest brother, they had together - and none of us has spent any time in prison, or even a night in jail that I know of, and we're all successful in our chosen lives.
Anyway, in the interest of clarity, I will in the future continue to refer to the Dad I share DNA with as "Dad", and the Dad who put up with my dumb teenage ass for seven years, and still managed to do a good job being a positive father figure (and not killing me) as StepDad.
I hope I've explained that well enough, but just in case:
StepDad is in no way meant to be derogatory, or a "lesser" name than Dad. Although we didn't get along well for many years, that was due to my being a teenage asshole. After I grew up, and grew a little bit of good sense, we have gotten along well as two men who respect each other.
There's also the little thing about StepDad being married to my Mom for nearly 25 years now (damn, that makes me feel old!) and making her, in her words, very happy. Even if I didn't love or even like Stepdad (which, now that I'm grown up I do, and have for a good 15 years now), that's something that would have my respect and gratitude.
If I get an ok, I'll start using StepDad's given name. If he wants me to.
Otherwise, I'll keep using Dad and StepDad, just so you readers will be clear who I'm talking about. Don't any of you dare think, though, that the STEP part is in any way a derogative.
BTW... the reason I started thinking about this on Tuesday, is because it was StepDad who called first to tell me I was a new Uncle. Mom is with Lil'sis, StepDad will be joining her in the next few days (if he hasn't already - I wasn't clear on the travel dates).
Anyway... thanks Mom, thanks Dad, thanks StepDad... you all did a damn fine job raising kids. My f*ckups are entirely my own; no shrinks will get any money out of me trying to figure out that my parents, all three of you, are to blame for my problems.
posted by Aaron Neal at 6:59 PM
2 Comments:
You got lucky, you got two fathers in your life. One of whom is still around. Respect and appreciate him, as it's obvious you do. Keep his name out of it too- he deserves his privacy. I never name names on neanderpundit for that veyr reason. StepDad is a good term- it means a dad who has stepped in and (in your case) accepted another man's children as his own. A tough job, which he seems to have done well.
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